How to Deal With Criticism [Constructive and Destructive]

Neeraj Kumar June 9, 2020June 9, 2020 0 Comments

In our life we come across many people and out of them we find many who judge us without knowing us completely also, on the other hand, there are some people who really want to help and thus give us valuable suggestions but the problem arises when we are not able to identify which comment was a suggestion and which one was a wrong judgement. That is we can’t find out which criticism was a constructive one and which one was destructive. It takes a certain level of maturity to find that out. Below I have mentioned certain ways through which you can find that out. Also, I have mentioned certain ways on “How to Deal With Criticism” through which you can deal with them separately which is constructive criticism and destructive criticism.

Ways to identify whether a criticism offered is a constructive one or a destructive one and How to Deal With Criticism:-

1. Stop Being Oversensitive

Before you could decide whether a criticism offered is a constructive one or a destructive one you need to thicken your skin a bit as, if you are oversensitive then there is no wonder that you can hold on to grudges for no actual reason at all. By making mountains out of molehills you’re gonna make others uncomfortable only while talking to you. As they will have to take into account that you are a little bit more sensitive than others. That way you may receive kind words but you will not be able to hear the truth. So thicken your skin to really get to know the real intentions of the person that is hidden in the message and not in the tone of the person.

As there could be various possibilities why the person’s tone sounded unkind to you for example It might be possible that the person was in a bad mood and you came in front of him or it might be possible that his personal life was not going good. For Example:- He might be going through a divorce or something like that. There could be many possible reasons for him being blunt towards you.

2. Look For the Message

Try to look at the message in the person’s comment and not to judge or feel invaded only on the basis of his voice tonality. It takes a certain level of patience and maturity to do that. You have to keep yourself calm to think and analyze that. This is called emotional intelligence that is to be able to perceive beyond what is apparent to you to filter out the message behind the veil of voice tone being used. It might be possible that the person naturally talks to everyone in that tone and is not doing something intentionally to harm you.

Try to have more open-mindedness, understanding, and maturity so that you could actually see the person’s actual intentions. As most of the time, we being emotionally immature start taking simple suggestions as harsh criticisms and start holding on to grudges. If you find that, deep down the person was really trying to help, thank them, be grateful for them that they invested so much of their time for your concern.

3. Stay Calm

The most important part of dealing with criticisms is keeping yourself calm. Even if you were able to find out that the criticism offered was destructive you don’t have to react to it. To react to it is to lose your power. The best you can do in that situation is to simply ignore them and walk away. The calmer you could keep yourself in that situation the more mature you would come across. A person tries to bring down that person which can be hurt and not someone who is unaffected by his comments. Your calm behaviour would make him feel that it is of no use disturbing that person as this person is not gonna be a victim of my insults.

Know that the person who tries to bring you down is already below you that’s why he is trying to bring you down. Don’t give him the power to hurt you. Don’t use your ego for defence. You don’t have to mingle with every tom, dick and harry that says something bad about you. Know that “haters are gonna hate!” you don’t have to respond to them for responding to them is wasting your own time and energy rather you should keep doing what you were doing without bothering what they may say. You can’t change or even control what anybody is gonna think of you doing that will only leave you with disappointments.

4. Know Who You are

It is a very important aspect while dealing with criticisms. If you know who you are deep down your strengths as well as your faults, then it’s very difficult that someone could hurt you by their views. Only those who are not sure about themselves feel as if they have been invaded. Act humble as no matter what they are gonna say it’s not gonna affect you in anyway also when you would be humble it might be possible that they may actually add some value to you by telling you something which they would have otherwise not told you.

Follow the saying by Dean Karnazes

Listen to Everyone, Follow No One

Only adapt those things which you find are good in your view. There is nothing wrong in listening to someone who is actually tryna help sometimes maybe with a bit harsh tone too because they are the real ones who have the courage to tell you the truth and are not acting sweet in front of you to please you so respect that and take their advice as a good student would. Don’t try to talk back to them even if you think they are wrong. Listen to them but don’t take their opinions to your heart know that the end judgement of deciding what to do depends on you only.

5. Stay Confident

Staying confident doesn’t mean that you should start thinking that you are invincible and flawless. Staying confident means you know you are imperfect and you know yourself so well that anyone’s else opinion about you doesn’t matter anymore as you know yourself since birth more than anyone else could ever know.

Real confidence is an unshakable faith in yourself. Once you have that nobody can hurt you by their opinions. Know that in this world you will meet many people who will sound insensitive towards you. You don’t have to let them affect you. Only those people get affected by others whose opinion about themselves depends on other people’s views about them and not on what they think about themselves.

6. Take Your Stand

Sometimes it becomes important to take your stand to let the other person know that in the name of criticism they can’t bully you. You have you let them know that you have got some self-respect for yourself. You need to draw the line to let them know their limits. People will abuse you even more if you will continue being abused. It is a sin to bear abusive behaviour from someone whosoever they might be. You should never yield to anyone’s bad behaviour let them know then and there that they can’t take you lightly. It is a one time hustle but will be worth it as from the next time that person will think twice before trying to harm you in any way.