Key to Gaining Control over your Anger

September 26, 2020 Shekhaa Hameed 0 Comments

We, as humans experience a wide range of emotions as a response to any situation or experience ranging from happiness or sadness to frustration and anger. Although it is healthy to feel, process, and have control of these emotions, at times one can find it difficult to control anger resulting in destructive outcomes. The following article will explain anger, the negative impacts that can result from not taking control of anger, and some guidelines or tips one can follow to manage their anger.

Now, it is important to note that anger isn’t at all a negative or unhealthy emotion, in fact, it is a very healthy and natural emotion that is used as a means to express any negativity that you are feeling as a response to a certain wrong-doing/situation (American Psychological Association, n.d.). It ranges from mild irritation and passive aggression to rage and fury (“Controlling Anger Before”, n.d). However, if this emotion isn’t taken into control and you don’t step back to objectively understand the situation, anger can indeed act as a ‘poison’ and allow toxicity into your lives, negatively impacting your personal and professional life. This is also reiterated in a quote, “ Anger does not solve anything. It builds nothing, but can destroy everything” (Quotling, n.d.).

Repercussions of Anger

1. Health Problems (“Anger-how it affects”, n.d.)

Anger, if not managed properly can have a major impact on one’s cardiac health and can cause:

Headache
Digestion Problems
Insomnia
High blood pressure
Skin problems such as eczema
Stroke

2. Negative Impact on corporate and personal relationships

It can be hard to focus on completing various tasks or meeting deadlines
As you are not able to control your anger, you might tend to go off about rage when you feel frustrated which can negatively impact your relationships personally and professionally
You may seem intimidating to people or they might feel afraid of you thus, people may not want to collaborate with you (“The Negative Effects, 2014)

3. Psychological Health

VeryWellMind (2020) says, “Angry feelings also may cause you to withdraw from the world and turn your anger inward, which can impact your health and well-being.”
Increased Anxiety
Unmanaged and uncontrolled anger can lead to constant arousal of negative thoughts
There may be a significant increase in the amount of overthinking one does due to keeping anger inside or not being able to manage anger properly ultimately leading to added levels of unwanted stress and health problems (mentioned above)
Unmanaged and uncontrolled anger also results in negative self-talk which can further lead to the development of insecurities and result in poor mental health

Now, there are many different ways one can control their anger, some of which include:

1. Change of Environment

Whenever you feel that you are losing control and may react in an aggressive and exaggerated manner, it is recommended that you take a step outside and move away from that environment
You can take a quick walk or just get some fresh air and take deep breaths to allow your mind to get refreshed and have your muscles relax (during stress or and anger, it is most probable that your muscles contract leading to further stress and anxiety)
Taking some time out during that uncomfortable and triggering situation can be key to helping you calm down and allowing you to gain control of your thoughts and words
Most importantly, having a change in environment will prevent you from acting repulsively and saying things which you wouldn’t mean

2. 3 Step Approach

Identify Triggers
- What gives you frustration? It can be things as simple as a red light, tiredness, a person not throwing away their trash to more serious frustrations such as you not being in control of a certain situation or injustices. Be aware of those triggers and it would be best to actually write them down in a journal because then, it would also be fed into your subconscious mind. (Gans, 2020)
Evaluate Your Anger & Recognize Warning Signs
- When you’re faced in a certain situation, ask yourself whether anger can help or worsen the situation. Anger may at times give you the courage to make a change and take a stand for yourself or someone else, however, if it is going to hurt your relationships and you have a feeling that you will say things that you will regret later, it is best to go to the next step
Try to Manage your thoughts & Step Away
- When you see your anger rising, remove yourself from the situation instantly (Gans, 2020)
- Constantly saying phrases like “Im ok, stay calm” or “No need to react (your name), you can control yourself” will help you calm down and reduce your anger (Gans, 2020)

3. Exercise

Physical exercise is known to burn up stress chemicals and promotes the release of endorphins (“Feel Good”) hormones which can aid in reducing anger leading to better anger management
There are numerous exercise one can engage in ranging from HIIT to cardio to strength training

4. Relaxation

It is best to try relaxation techniques and engage in yoga, meditation, and even pilates
Do some breathing exercises
Write in a journal

5. Getting Help From a Psychologist

Always remember, “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow”

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Shekhaa Hameed

An aspiring lawyer and entrepreneur currently pursuing a double major in International Relations and Economics. She has been a guest speaker for the World Tolerance Summit and aims to bring a positive change to society.

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